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I'm Katy! I'm a Phys Ed teacher, fitness and yoga instructor. I love fitness and fashion! Join me as I kick the crap out of you with my at-home HIIT workouts, and mostly make fun of myself.
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Monday, 29 April 2013

Fitness: The Raw Truth.

Pin It I'm just going to come out and say it.

You need to WORK YOUR ASS OFF in order for your ASS TO GET HOTTER.

Let me premise this post that I am aware that some people are unfamiliar with machines at the gym or unsure how to use weights. I am aware that some people have injuries or limitations that may halt their ability to really push it. So before anyone yells at me and says, "some people need to use ____", or "I'm injured and can't work at my max"- I am agreeing with you. But that is for about 5% of people, or my 88-year old grandmother. Otherwise, I really want to yell "COME ON!!!!" to the other 95% of the people in the gym.

I'm talking to you, woman on the bike going 2 mph and chatting on your cell phone. I don't care if the screen says that you are in the "fat burning zone." Here's what's better: get yourself into the cardio zone. Make your heart work. Push yourself. SWEAT. And while you're at it, get off the machine and pick up a jump rope. You can't talk on the phone if your hands are busy.

Hi, honey! I'm getting a great workout.

I'm also talking to you, chick who is doing bicep curls with 2-pound weights. Your purse weighs eight times that weight. Either curl your purse, or pick up the 15s. Do three sets of 12 with a one minute rest in between (max). And while you're at it, drop and give me 20. I don't care if it's on your knees or on your toes. Get out of breath. Work.

While you're at it, where did you get this purse? It's fierce.

To the baby mommas: You pushed a watermelon out of your vajayjay and carry around a 20-pound human for most of your day. You can increase your heart rate to more than 50% of its max. I know this is okay, because I can do it. Just saying.

And here's what I have to say to this chick:

Get off this machine.
Unless you are dealing with a groin injury (which even still, cables would be better for your rehab and not this sex machine), don't bother with this machine. It will not make your thighs smaller. It works against the direction of your leg muscles... therefore it is pretty much pointless. (The hip abductor- the opposite move- has a few benefits, if you have hours to spend in the gym. Otherwise, do squats. Then do lunges. Maybe leg press/hacksquat, and hamstring curls. These are WAY better for you). You want to move in the direction that your muscle fibres are running. For example, your bicep muscles run from your shoulder to your elbow. This is why we work the muscle by doing bicep curls, and why we don't work the muscle side to side. It doesn't make sense!!

So here's what you should do. 

-If possible, buy a few sessions with a REPUTABLE personal trainer. Like me. And pay me lots of money. 
-Don't go to the gym. Do my workouts at home instead. 
-Look at the hardest working person in the gym. Chances are, they look good. Watch them creepily, and then do what they do.
-Instead of spending an hour + in the gym, spend half an hour to 45 minutes... and kick the crap out of it by doing interval training, supersets, and/or functional body movements (squats, deadlifts, lunges, planks). 
-Go to the gym and do my workouts there. Email me to ask the best way to send me gifts for getting you such great results and so many phone numbers. 

Preach. 










9 comments:

  1. want to work your inner thigh? do a barre class. piles, bitches!

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  2. I SO agree with this. I hate when I'm reading a magazine and they say "just do some gardening" to get fit. Are you kidding me?! I always say you have to sweat your box off to see results!
    Ps: I still cannot comment on your blog from Wordpress

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  3. It also drives me nuts when I see girls at the gym in full make up. I just don't get it. and then they look at ME like I'M the stupid one for sweating my ass off. I loved everything about this post and giggled and nodded throughout the whole thing. Keep the honesty coming. I love it.

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  4. Yes times a million!!!! I go to the gym to push myself, work hard and go home :)

    [email protected]

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  5. Dolphin claps for this post! Freaking SWEAT already! If fat girl (me) can bust my ass at the gym, be on the edge of vomit, and want to absolutely DIE at the end of my workout, what the heck is your issue?! Exactly. Move your ass.

    Sarah
    www.thinfluenced.com

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  6. I used to be one of those girls on the hip abductor machine, and then it never did anything for me, and I got tired of people staring at my fucking crotch. So I stopped. And I have never looked back. LUNGES BRO. WERK IT!

    ReplyDelete