
You need to WORK YOUR ASS OFF in order for your ASS TO GET HOTTER.
Let me premise this post that I am aware that some people are unfamiliar with machines at the gym or unsure how to use weights. I am aware that some people have injuries or limitations that may halt their ability to really push it. So before anyone yells at me and says, "some people need to use ____", or "I'm injured and can't work at my max"- I am agreeing with you. But that is for about 5% of people, or my 88-year old grandmother. Otherwise, I really want to yell "COME ON!!!!" to the other 95% of the people in the gym.
I'm talking to you, woman on the bike going 2 mph and chatting on your cell phone. I don't care if the screen says that you are in the "fat burning zone." Here's what's better: get yourself into the cardio zone. Make your heart work. Push yourself. SWEAT. And while you're at it, get off the machine and pick up a jump rope. You can't talk on the phone if your hands are busy.
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Hi, honey! I'm getting a great workout. |
I'm also talking to you, chick who is doing bicep curls with 2-pound weights. Your purse weighs eight times that weight. Either curl your purse, or pick up the 15s. Do three sets of 12 with a one minute rest in between (max). And while you're at it, drop and give me 20. I don't care if it's on your knees or on your toes. Get out of breath. Work.
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While you're at it, where did you get this purse? It's fierce. |
To the baby mommas: You pushed a watermelon out of your vajayjay and carry around a 20-pound human for most of your day. You can increase your heart rate to more than 50% of its max. I know this is okay, because I can do it. Just saying.
And here's what I have to say to this chick:
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Get off this machine. |
So here's what you should do.
-If possible, buy a few sessions with a REPUTABLE personal trainer. Like me. And pay me lots of money.
-Don't go to the gym. Do my workouts at home instead.
-Look at the hardest working person in the gym. Chances are, they look good. Watch them creepily, and then do what they do.
-Instead of spending an hour + in the gym, spend half an hour to 45 minutes... and kick the crap out of it by doing interval training, supersets, and/or functional body movements (squats, deadlifts, lunges, planks).
-Go to the gym and do my workouts there. Email me to ask the best way to send me gifts for getting you such great results and so many phone numbers.
Preach.