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Some of you know that I went on vacation with my family over the holidays. Now, since I have about 45 followers, I consider myself a giant celebrity, so I was prepared for my photo to be taken in a foreign country by my fans. Here, I show you how to keep it real on the beach.
1. Find the nearest pregnant woman, and pose beside her. Cue arm pose, and purse lips.
![](https://2.bp.blogspot.com/-vEpM7nc6LWs/TxdtlM7IpoI/AAAAAAAABaA/Q_6AikPtbxw/s320/Renaud+Vacation%2521+192.JPG) |
If no pregnant woman is available, force a stranger to shove a basketball up their onesie. |
2. Only pose for photos in which you will receive an appearance fee.
![](https://4.bp.blogspot.com/-0KdOb1zCrl8/Txdtde4w0zI/AAAAAAAABZ4/VWJ1v1obYLc/s320/Renaud+Vacation%2521+212.JPG) |
That's right. |
![](https://2.bp.blogspot.com/-ODO_Sa1-RO0/TxduDFVRHuI/AAAAAAAABag/FojqYsywy3A/s320/Renaud+Vacation%2521+213.JPG) |
They gave us free drinks for this! It was like magic- we just went up to the bar, and ordered drinks. Totally hot star. |
3. When posing in a bathing suit, pretend this baby is your child.
![](https://1.bp.blogspot.com/-NM9362tmzrc/TxdtV-_YJsI/AAAAAAAABZo/9UyCllw6dfw/s320/Renaud+Vacation%2521+110.JPG) |
This child's thinking, "help me!" |
![](https://1.bp.blogspot.com/-hXbNS9Y6IZw/Txdt6Z0AypI/AAAAAAAABaY/MkJTKiJ01UQ/s320/Renaud+Vacation%2521+299.JPG) |
I found her again! Perfect timing. |
4. Work out on vacation.
![](https://3.bp.blogspot.com/-J7C2fDmbIZk/TxdtP6Xp0MI/AAAAAAAABZY/5UhtdLby_oM/s320/Renaud+Vacation%2521+200.JPG) |
Make sure you pose for the before photo... |
![](https://3.bp.blogspot.com/-O001VU3oTLc/TxduKfaPfQI/AAAAAAAABao/XCQlKxbWFFM/s320/Renaud+Vacation%2521+202.JPG) |
And, the after. Even though this was mere minutes later, it makes you look hardcore. |
5. Find your nearest hammock. It doubles as a cover up.
![](https://2.bp.blogspot.com/-N89laZr2NwA/TxdtrIMvCPI/AAAAAAAABaI/gMzicYnRPbM/s320/Renaud+Vacation%2521+259.JPG) |
This poor child. |
6. Do tequila shots. You won't give a @$#! what anyone thinks of you.
![](https://2.bp.blogspot.com/-xchXIjpHsj0/TxdtwKKj7rI/AAAAAAAABaQ/gUmPBmS7KsU/s320/Renaud+Vacation%2521+328.JPG) |
For example, I didn't notice at the time how proud Carter was of me. |
7. Wear a ridiculously large hat to draw people's attention up.
![](https://1.bp.blogspot.com/-EsCYvKAmKUA/Txdta67GpSI/AAAAAAAABZw/PcdkB0D4K_k/s320/Renaud+Vacation%2521+088+-+Copy.JPG) |
Huge hat, low shirt. All I care about is more food to my right. |
There you have it, friends.
And just when you think you couldn't handle a week's vacation away with your family, here's our family Christmas photo:
You're welcome.
I'm pretty sure I covered all of the important ones, but what are your tips to stay hot and sexy on the beach?